It was just another of our usual long commute to office. We were in our car. The auxiliary cable of the player in the car was plugged into my husband’s mobile phone, playing out the songs from his collection. Much as his taste in music is a stark contrast to mine, I nevertheless decided to listen and open my mind up to a little more musical possibility.
Then came that song, “Senthamizh naatu thamizhachhiye, selai udtha thayangariye…”
(Oh Tamil lady of Tamil Nadu! You hesitate to wear a saree!) Pardon my miserable translation skills!
Now, it was the rush hour and I was already getting late for office (another usual). Being somewhat a champion of female rights (more out of self-interest than public), I was offended. I grudgingly wear salwar kameez to work because it is the least formal female attire permissible in my office. Given the chance, I would stick to jeans and tees all the time, much to the chagrin of my as-purely Tamil-as-pure-molten-gold Tamil family.
Call it guilt or rush hour irritation, I was quick to skip the song before it was heard audibly enough. The spouse wanted the song back on. And there it went…
The song mumbled something in Tamil (incomprehensible to me) before I caught on another line,
“…neechal udaiyil alaiyuriye..” (“You’re roaming in swimwear…” A not-so-subtle jest about her ‘exposing’ clothes)
“But why are YOU pissed? You don’t wear swimwear or short clothes anyway!” my husband pleaded.
He was right. There was nothing personally offensive about that song. I was just in one of my feminist moods. My mental argument said, “I don’t wear those clothes because I don’t have that figure, not because I SHOULDN’T! And, it isn’t as if you men embrace tradition by wearing dhoti all the time.”
I stormed out of the car near my office entrance and walked away fast without waving a bye to my poor guy.
My thoughts raced to all the other female-bashing songs.
“Inniku sirippa nalaiki moraippa innuvum irukudhada…” (She’ll smile today and she’ll frown tomorrow. There is more to it than just this.)
Why is it that there are just too many Tamil film songs poking fun of women, especially condemning them for ditching their boyfriends? I married my boyfriend.
“Kandhasamy, Kuppusamy, Karuppusamy, Madasamy kalyanam kattikitango
(something incomprehensible again) thappu nu othukitango…”
(Kandhasamy etc. are common Tamil male names. “They married and some time later admitted that they had made a mistake”)
Why are there so many Tamil film songs delineating the woes of married men suffering at the hands of their domineering wives? Clearly, after sacrificing our lives with our parents and siblings, our freedom to dress, eat, sleep, talk, go out, make friends and behave just as we please, our figures and dress sizes, our late mornings and late nights, our plans on if, whether and when we want to have children, and for many of us, our rights to concentrate on and have a flourishing career, we; women, are certainly the worst affected half in any marriage.
What is it that the men are whining about then? They get to smoke, drink, go out with their friends, scream at their wives, complain about the food, keep their jobs, buy what they like, be pampered (read spoon-fed) by both their parents and wives, have kids when they please…heck, they don’t even menstruate, leave alone battle menopause when your spouse is sexually alive, about and kicking!
I knew of course, that men too would have an equally bitter story to tell, given the chance. After all, who got punished in school when the girls in the class chattered? Who didn’t make it to a prestigious institution because a girl got it through women’s quota? Who stands up for women in buses and trains, only to be looked at as a potential rapist? Who is the referee between endless saas-bahu (mother-in-law and daughter-in-law) battles? Yes, I do know they have their own half to complete this miserable sphere of gender bias.
But, there was a male lyricist somewhere to unleash their frustration with all these female-bashing songs. How many Tamil film songs, or any song for that matter, do you see with a significant amount of realistic male-bashing? There is one too many a joke about a wife emptying her husband’s coffers with indiscriminate shopping (No, I am not a shopaholic. Besides, I mostly buy only from my own income.), but how many jokes are there about a husband forever cooped up in a bar or a pub or with his friends over a random cricket or football game instead of coming home early to his wife for once?
Why “Why this kolaveri da…” didn’t make it as the top chartbuster? Why the very few male-bashing songs there are are, too weak to offset the humorous, lyrical, and hit-the-nail quality of female-bashing songs? Aren’t there enough good female lyricists? Or do they simply have better things to pen than men (That rhymed, yes!)? Why can’t a good male lyricist put aside his veil of ego and gender bias aside for a while and compose songs that strike the chord with the ‘fair’ side of humanity? Why, oh why, oh, why???
That evening I climbed back into the car. My man and I had made peace and gotten over this pointless argument. We mutually agreed that I was irritated only because of my rush hour stress. Just as we smiled and turned the FM on,
“Indha ponnungale ippadidhan therinju pochu daa…” (These girls are only like this…we know it now…)
Sound of laughter. Sound of forehead slapping.
I need not say who won that day!
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